We Were Never Meant for Do or Die

Corey and I have decided to break up. I'm not sure what I'm feeling right. I'm very overwhelmed; the divorce, this relationship ending, school... All of it is hard to deal with at one time.

I don't feel like writing.

Should I rename this blog?

"Already Gone" - Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die.

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop.

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye.

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on,
So I'm already gone

I say things I don't mean as you mean things you don't say.

How do you base a two-year relationship on a single interview? How can you condemn a love like this to the outcome of a half hour exchange of words? If you aren't happy then fix the problem yourself; it's not my fucking fault. If there's a way I can help you then God damn it why don't you tell me?

These hot tears stain my face like your words dig in; relentless, overwhelming. I can move on and find someone who will treat me better than this but I don't want to. I want you. But my words are twisted; the emotion straining my vocal chords creates a disconnect between tone and mood.

What I'm saying is not conveying, the meaning, though I'm screaming, on the inside, comes out as lies.

I say things I don't mean as you mean things you don't say.

Our misinterpretations, are only simple representations, of a problem never fixed. How did we end up like this?

And your thoughts, have always crossed, your own mind, but not mine, so when we are introduced, hatred is produced.

Your claims, sound like blames, to me they're new, but old and lingering for you.

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Lo siento. Y sé no hay mucho que puedo decir.

Voy a permanecer despierto toda la noche porque necesito escribir este reporte. Es para mi clase de biología. No estoy recibiendo buenos grados en escuela. Estoy triste.