Piling Up Like the Laundry on My Floor

I had a breakdown last night. It seems like everything needs to be done and dealt with right now but I don't have the time or patience to do it all. I feel like I'm being tested by life. I have to write my challenge essay for the C-STEP program application which is due April 1st, which is the same day that I can sign up for summer and fall classes, which will determine my availability to work this summer and fall in addition to my availability for tutoring for psychology at the Skills Lab. I don't have time to devote to a social life at all. I was invited to a party tonight but I work until closing and I don't think I could make it there in time for it to be worth the drive. I'll be really tired by then too since it's a 7-hour shift. I'm waiting for my bud to call me with some details about the when and where and who of the party. I'd have to stay the night somewhere, too, although that shouldn't be too big of a problem. I can't even drive after 9 PM, yet! Well, I can, but only if it's to home or to work.

I got home from work last night around 11 and called my boyfriend to relax. I was already in a foul mood from not being able to find someone to cover my shift for tonight, and when he began talking about some issues I snapped at him. He said his middle sister had called the younger sister saying for her and the rest of the family not to contact her for 2 weeks or until she contacted them. Corey then went into this spiel about how if his sister and her husband are getting a divorce then because of the Nevada laws she would have to stay in the state because no one gets full custody, and I snapped at him because I thought it was stupid to automatically assume that because she said not to contact her for 2 weeks, she was getting a divorce. I stopped bitching for a minute and he took the opportunity to snap at me and to tell me to chill out. He asked why I was jumping down his throat because he had mentioned the divorce thing, and I realized how mean I was being and started crying. I think it was the stress from signing up to be a tutor, the fall and summer classes schedule, the requirement to take 5 classes, my job, not having a social life or being able to go out when I get invited to a rare party, and the fact that Corey's computer had gotten a virus and now we couldn't video that made me breakdown. It's just so much to handle for me right now, and additionally having to consider how he's moving here in 3 months and how much our relationship will be changed by that. But I just cried and cried for almost a half hour, telling him how stressed out I was and apologizing for being a bitch. Also, I accidentally backed into my dad's car about a week ago and now have to pay him for the damages plus I have to pay for a plane ticket for April 8th and April 12th, and I have to pay for my car insurance, so financially I'm stretched. I barely have anything in my bank account now as it is. I'm really having a hard time keeping my chin up when there's so much for me to take care of and I've lost my support system besides Marena and Corey (Marena is my best friend, by the way). I really need a break. I won't even get this summer off because like I said, I have to take classes. That way I'll qualify for the C-STEP program for graduation in summer 2010. Then it's off to UNC for 2 years, then med school for 4 years, then my residency. Maybe I'll get a break when I'm 30.