I'm going to make an outline of the things I want to talk about. I need to put down all these crazy thoughts!
1. Darin
2. Mom's boyfriend
3. Life --- school, work, etc
3.5. This blog
4. Jon
1. Darin
I broke up with Darin March 29th. I was going to do it in person but it was getting late before he could come over so I decided to save him the gas and time and just call. He took it well. He was very pragmatic about the whole situation, stating that if I were older he would attempt to convince me to stay in the relationship, but he understood that "a long-distance relationship on someone as young as" (that's the reason I gave btw) was inconsiderate and selfish of him. Well... okay, that's cool. Whatever way you want to take it.
So everything is fine and dandy, until stuff with Jon starts to happen (I'll explain that in section 4, promise!), so I IM Darin to let him know, "hey, I'm going to date Jon now, just so ya know," thinking this would be polite of me. He responds with this catty, disrespectful retort of how Jon doesn't deserve me, but as Darin says this, he also says he's happy for me and only wants the best (apparently "the best" does not include Jon in his book). He also posts this on my Facebook wall:
"Hey Jorden, I'm sorry if you were offended earlier, I'm honest like that though and I think you're an awesome girl, deserving of the best. Regardless of what I say, I'm happy for you. Take care."
I do not take this well, and decide that Darin and I are done talking for a while. He later deleted me, then re-added me. I sent him a message asking when he had removed me as a friend, and he replied with this:
"Hey Jorden, I deleted you because seeing you online reminded me of us and it was hard. Training here is no joke and I realize that my career choice was a big part of why we ended. Seeing the nice girl I left back in NC made me sad and want to talk to you. Knowing that wouldn't do any good, I deleted you off here to clear my head. Training is still a bitch but things are good. Hows life on your end?"
I didn't respond. He truly nauseates me now.
2. Mom's boyfriend
Mom has a new boyfriend, named Jim. He's cool. Yeah I don't have anything else to say.
3. Life
I'm on summer break now. Summer school starts on Tuesday, TTH 1230-330. I'm only taking Spanish 3. I'm currently looking for a new job, most likely waittressing because it's easy money and I can maintain that kind of job through UNC. I can go to the gym up to 6 days a week if I want, so that's refreshing. I'm really just excited to have time to do things now.
3.5 This blog
Well, here's what's up:
I actually started another blog. I'm not gonna tell you what it's called, or what account it's under, because I may abandon it. I wanted to start a new one because it's bothered me for a while and I wanted, as I put it in the blog, a "fresh start." But the need to give all the background information was too overwhelming, so I came back to this one. I'll be changing the name again, too.
4. Jon
=)
All right... So this is Jon... He's pretty cool...
Jon and I met in the Spring semester of 2009. We had statistics together at 9 am MWF. At first, he was just the kid in the white hat that stared at me from the left side of the room. We made eye contact every now and then, and one day he approached me. We talked about math (because we didn't know if we had anything else in common yet), and left it at that. The next time we walked together to our next classes, we found out we were both homeschooled, and as I said bye to walk to biology, I noticed one of his blue eyes was 1/4 brown. It caught my attention for sure (I know this sounds super cheesy... just chill, okay?). He walked me down the halls almost every day we had class together, and we developed something of a friendship. We became Facebook friends, texted, IMed, even webcammed some of the time.
Then he got a job offer in Miami with a banner towing business. He dropped all classes and moved mid-semester. While he lived in Miami, we continued to text and IM. We were still friends, and had created a really good friendship. I'm not gonna lie and say we didn't flirt, either. But I was with Corey, so I knew it wouldn't be going anywhere.
One day, after repeatedly having told Jon I didn't want to be as flirtatious as we had been, Jon and I got into an argument and stopped talking altogether. Our communication had been off and on anyway, but this instance was the last straw, and it was called completely off. We didn't talk for a few months.
Hello Fall semester. A little ways through the semester, I was walking down the stairs to the second floor of the main building when I saw, guess who, Jon! He was walking past to a different building. We made brief eye-contact but didn't say anything to each other. That night, either he or I IMed the other, and Jon and I slowly became friends again. I won't go into details, but the job in Miami had ended and he was back in school to get his degree. Jon and I started spending a lot of time together. We were with each other in the library constantly, we hung out whenever we both had free time at school, I went over to his house, met his parents and siblings and nieces and nephews... It was great. Jon and I were practically best friends.
My and Corey's relationship began to go downhill. Neither of us had much time to devote to each other. We snapped, we vented, we took stress out on each other in the worst ways. I turned to Jon for support, opening up to him about the difficulties in the relationship. He was incredibly helpful, and I loved having him to talk to.
Corey and I broke up in November. Almost immediately, my and Jon's friendship changed. The attraction and chemistry between us was nearly palpable... His hugs gave me butterflies now, and our first kiss happened shortly thereafter.
I'm not going to go into great detail. I want to hurry up and finish this post so I can write another... I just want these in chronological order!
Jon and I became pretty involved. However, the guilt I felt over what had happened between Corey and myself, and the conflicting emotional pain over being with Jon but not over Corey took its toll on me. I told Jon we needed to stop seeing each other in early December.
I played the singleness for a couple months, and then started dating Darin. I don't want to talk about Darin.
Jon and I stopped being friends for a while. Neither of us wanted to approach the other, and we lived totally separate lives. The only interaction we had was at school. As the school year progressed we started texting and IMing occasionally, and he invited me over one night. We sat on his bed and talked, and then started to kiss. It started getting heated, and I pulled back and asked him how he thought we could jump right back into something like this after not being friends for so long. He and I then both told each other everything that had happened emotionally to us since we started talking. We told each other our feelings toward each other, and both described, from our own points of view, everything that had gone through our minds since we met.
I ended up crying on his bed with him holding me. I told him I was scared I had ruined all chances I had with him because I'd hurt him. I then wiped my face and said I needed to leave.
Jon and I didn't talk for a few weeks. Then, one Friday, I had to stay behind in Chemistry because I had a question. Rather than immediately answering my question, the teacher set up the next class's exam before answering me. Jon happened to have Chemistry immediately after me, so this was his exam. I waited at the head of the classroom while the teacher walked around, handing out exams. I glanced over at Jon and caught him staring at me. I stuck out my tongue, and he smiled and looked down toward his exam.
That afternoon he texted me, saying he'd been thinking of me all day. I asked why, and he said that ever since I'd stuck out my tongue he hadn't been able to get me out of his mind. He suggested we hang out soon, and I agreed.
I came over to his house the next day. We watched a documentary and when it was over he and I started talking, and that led to kissing. I left his house late that night. The next day he invited me over again, and the same thing happened. On Monday I texted him and told him I wanted to know where we currently stood, because I didn't like the insecurity and instability in what we had been doing over the weekend. He told me to come over that night so we could have a meeting.
That evening he asked me what were the pros and cons of us dating. I was shocked. Dating hadn't even crossed my mind, and he hadn't had a "true" girlfriend in two years. I listened to him and me talk myself into it. I didn't think we should jump into a relationship, but I was willing to try and make it work.
The relationship is going beautifully. We're incredibly close, and I consider him one of my "good" (although not quite "best") friends. =) Yay! We've been dating for nearly a month now.
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