I feel so shitty. It's 12:25 AM... I can't sleep. It's not just the fact that I've felt sick all day... or that I'm tired because of working for 12 hours. It's not the dread I have in tomorrow. It's not that I wish I could see my friends more.

It's just not something I can talk about. It's not something I should talk about. But ya know... when you have no one to talk to... it gets hard. People need to talk to other people about their problems... their issues... I mean everyone resolves their own conflicts via face-to-face or at least out-loud conversations because that makes them think... it makes them fix things. But I have no one to talk to, and it's really hard having to deal with that.

Work at abercrombie tomorrow... 11-3. Then Panera from 3-close. I'm already exhausted.

I don't know. I have so many things going through my mind right now. I don't even know what to type. I want to cry but I can't produce any more tears. I'm going to be up late tonight... thinking about things.

I hate this start and stop writing that I'm doing right now. My thoughts are so disconnected. I can't even begin to tell you all the things I'm considering.

I want to go throw up.

I I I. That's all I ever say. I hate... I don't... I want... I'm already.... I'm so sick of myself.

It's now 1:21 AM. Still not sleepy. My stomach is churning and the nausea won't leave. I've had a sharp pain all day on the left side... now I feel so sick, plus this dizziness and headache and my neck being stiff. I feel so down right now. I'm starting to cry but I don't know why. What is wrong with me?